


it's hot as the devil in the kitchen, baby... can you feel the heat? try not to get burned

by namedawesome (davethetennant)



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/M, Iron Chef - Freeform, like pretend its still on air okay?, look guys its cute, they watch tv
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-27 05:47:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18190556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/davethetennant/pseuds/namedawesome
Summary: “Lucifer, I was just kidding,” she told him for the seventh time.“So was C. S. Lewis when he asked me if it hurt when I fell from heaven, but I wasn’t laughing then either,” Lucifer said haughtily. Chloe looked at him for a long moment before she’d remembered that it was actually true but Lucifer didn’t even acknowledge her.





	it's hot as the devil in the kitchen, baby... can you feel the heat? try not to get burned

**Author's Note:**

> ssoooooo here you go, have some weirdness???

Lucifer was pouting on his end of the couch. Chloe had half a mind to roll her eyes at him (again), but then he’d just pout more. She’d just teased him, not being completely serious, and had made him mad (she’d just teased him about probably not being able to beat any of the iron chefs in a cook off, and then he’d gotten a little piss-y). 

“Lucifer, I was just kidding,” she told him for the seventh time.

“So was C. S. Lewis when he asked me if it hurt when I fell from heaven, but I wasn’t laughing then either,” Lucifer said haughtily. Chloe looked at him for a long moment before she’d remembered that it was actually true but Lucifer didn’t even acknowledge her. 

She just shook her head and turned back to the television. He was dramatic and would always be dramatic no matter what she did. 

“I could beat any of them you know,” he told her. And he was still pouting. 

“I know, Lucifer,” she sighed.

Lucifer turned his head to look down his nose at her, “Your comments would suggest otherwise…”

Exasperated beyond measure, she almost shouted at him, “Then go and prove me wrong, Lucifer!”

“Perhaps I will,” he’d said, snippy. And then he’d just walked out.

She rolled her eyes again, thinking that this was going to just add more drama to her life. 

In the end, he was just a little more moody than usual for a few days, and then suddenly one day he seemed to snap out of it, but he was a lot more smug than he usually would be, but he wouldn’t tell her what it was about. She just shook her head at him and continued on with her day because she didn’t have time to deal with Lucifer’s drama.

A few weeks later, she was sitting on the couch marathoning a few missed episodes of Iron Chef, when the next one started. She was barely paying attention to the intro until she heard Alton Brown’s voice say something about “making a deal with the Devil” and then her head shot up with a sense of what could only be described as dread. There could only be one reason why he’d looked so smug so soon after her comment without proving it to her, and now… now she understood why. She just hoped that he hadn’t picked Chef Morimoto to battle against, because he was her favorite. 

They introduced Lucifer as a challenger and he looked as confident as he always did. Alton was taking the opportunity to make as many Devil puns as he could and Lucifer was smirking and chuckling at all of them. When they assigned him a chef to battle against, she was more than a little relieved to hear that he would be battling Bobby Flay, who she hated because he was just the worst. But she had to admit that he was an impressive chef and a formidable opponent; he almost never lost. 

She pulled out her phone during the commercial break, she wanted to talk to him before she watched this. He picked up on the fourth ring and greeted her with his usual enthusiasm. “Lucifer, did you buy your way onto Iron Chef?” she sighed.

“I didn’t need to, darling. One of the producers owed me a favor,” she could hear the smirk in his voice. 

She sighed and shook her head, “You want to come over and watch with me?”

“Unfortunately, darling, I can’t,” he told her sounding genuinely disappointed. “I have a business meeting. Someone wants to take Lux to Vegas and I figured I’d hear them out before turning them down.”

Chloe rolled her eyes but she begged off the phone when the show started again. He told her to text him with her thoughts, and she was definitely going to. 

Alton Brown welcomed them back and their main ingredient was revealed, Goat, which made Lucifer roll his eyes and Chloe smile. They’d even had the head of the goat available for use, and of course, Lucifer grabbed one. He placed it next to him on a cutting board and when Alton and his man on the floor asked him what he planned to do with it, Lucifer replied (as he chopped vegetables and other things at an alarming speed without looking at his fingers), “He’s my sous chef for now. I’ve called him Bobby Junior…”

On the other side of the kitchen Bobby Flay was barely paying attention to the cameras, but paused long enough to say, “This guys not even a real chef, he just owns a nightclub or something.” And then he’d rolled his eyes. Which made Chloe a little mad. Lucifer could be a chef if he wanted to. She’d gotten so incensed about it that she’d texted him.

_You better win this because BF is an asshole!!_

He responded with the devil emoji and told her to watch. Before they had even really started, their secret ingredient was revealed: pomegranate. Bobby had gotten a little upset, but Lucifer casually strolled over to the table and took a few. “Bobby, darling, would you like a taste?” he asked as he walked by the other man (Bobby looked a little panicked before he walked away). Lucifer winked at the camera as he got back to his kitchen. He gave everyone their orders as he moved around and then Alton seemed to notice that the head was gone from it’s cutting board. “Don’t you worry, my dear Alton, you’ll see Bobby Junior again,” he’d replied. 

There was a commercial break, and Chloe took the time to ask him what he was doing with the goat head, but he just told her it was a secret. She pouted at her phone and immediately he sent her:

_stop pouting darling_

She just pouted even more and thought about how he could use it and the only idea she had was soup stock. She sat up in excitement when it came back on and watched as closely as she could. Lucifer was flirting with Alton and the camera men, and she smiled fondly as they asked him about his life.

“Well, my dear, I work as a consultant with the LAPD,” he told them as he threw some goat meat into a pan with a multitude of vegetables and herbs. “The Detective is the reason I’m here actually. Had to prove a point, you know,” he winked into the camera and Chloe couldn’t help rolling her eyes. 

One of his chefs came up to him and started speaking in what she thought was Arabic, and he responded in the same language, her eyes widening. She didn’t know he could do that!

They moved over to Bobby’s side of the kitchen and the red head took the time to send a jibe towards the other side of the kitchen. Lucifer just laughed and told him that he should check on his leg of goat because it smelt a little over done, to which Bobby rolled his eyes. 

They were told that they only had about 25 minutes left in the challenge, and Lucifer looked as relaxed as she’d ever seen him and she pulled out her phone again. 

_is his roast really overdone???_

_just watch detective_

She was getting annoyed at his responses, but she knew it would be the same if he were here with her, but she’d be getting a commentary of the dishes he was making. She sighed.

_I wish you were here_

Immediately his response came:

_I can ditch this meeting…_

_isn’t it important?_

_not as important as you_

She melted a little bit, and she knew he meant it, because Lucifer never lied and there were mundane moments like this when he was accidentally sweet. It always gave her pause, and just… She… there was… It was just sweet, and it… the way it made her feel was just… She liked it (she liked him, but she wasn’t allowed to think about that in depth or for longer than a fleeting moment because… well, just because).

Her phone dinged again:

_I can bring take away_

She bit her lip, tempted. He was in an important meeting, but she… she wanted him with her. 

_yes please_

She paused the show and played with her phone, knowing that he was going to be a while. She texted Ella about Lucifer being on _Iron Chef_ and Ella called her demanding an explanation. 

“Basically, I accidentally dared him to prove he could beat an Iron Chef…” she told Ella with a sigh. 

“That’s so Lucifer,” the scientist replied with a laugh. “Can he cook though?”

Chloe chuckled. “He can… I was only joking when I told him he couldn’t, because if you’ve ever tasted anything he makes, you’d just… it’s so… it’s indescribably good…”

Ella laughed, “Really? What can he make?”

“Anything,” Chloe replied. 

“Anything?” Ella echoed.

“Yeah, I’ve never seen him not be able make anything I’ve asked him to,” she said. “And I used to try and stump him but I never could so I gave up.”

“He’s made you dinner?” Ella asked, and it sounded like she was trying to stop herself from saying how cute that was or screaming. If Chloe had to guess it was definitely screaming.

“A few times,” Chloe shrugged. “Trixie always has a blast watching him cook. He always explains what he’s doing to her, and he’s let her help.” She chuckled. “He always tells me that she needs to learn and she likes it… She asked me if she could become a chef, and I told her that of course she could. So whenever Lucifer makes dinner she asks him to teach her… It’s… sweet…”

“Aww! Decker, that’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard!” Ella practically squealed. 

“It is,” she sighed. Her phone pinged and she pulled it away from her face long enough for her to see that it was a text from Lucifer. “I gotta go, Ella; see you at work tomorrow!” she said, then she was just waiting for Lucifer to show up.

Not even five minutes later, he showed up in his usual fashion. He didn’t knock and he set a large bag, presumably filled with Chinese food, if her nose was as good at its job as she was at hers, on the coffee table in front of her. “Detective!” he greeted her.

“Hey,” she replied softly and when he looked at her, it was like he’d never seen anything as lovely as her, and she was a bit taken aback by the look of awe on his face. He let a gentle smile slowly fill his face, and she watched as it made him look… it changed his whole face. He was softer, like a ray of sunlight settling over the most beautiful view from a mountain top or something… she was terrible at being romantic.

“Which part are you on?” he asked her after she watched him visibly shake himself from whatever trance he’d been in. 

“There’s thirty minutes left and you’ve just told Bobby his roast was overdone,” she chuckled. 

“Ah,” he smirked, “yes, my favorite bit in the whole episode’s coming up. I hope they didn’t cut it out…”

“What happens?” she asked, pulling the food out and grinning as she saw that he got her exactly what she’d been craving all day. She would kiss him if she could (but the thing was, she definitely could, but… she was so very scared, because what if… what if he didn’t want her the way she wanted him?). She settled for leaning against him as he put his arm against the back of the couch. She felt him freeze for a moment, but then he relaxed and his arm came around her shoulders. 

Lucifer chuckled as he picked up the remote, “If they cut it, I’ll tell you about it…” She felt him nuzzle at her hair with his nose and bit her lip to keep from turning towards him. These were her favorite moments with Lucifer. Quiet and peaceful with some gentle teasing thrown in.

He hit play and fast-forwarded through the commercials that she had been halfway through. As soon as the show started again he settled deeper against her and the couch. She watched his hands out of the corner of her eye and had to stuff a bite of her food into her mouth to stop herself from reaching for his hand with her own and that would be… well embarrassing for her because she’d more than likely knock the remote out of his hand and then he’d stare at her like he had that time she’d slapped his ass (but it was a really nice ass so no one could really blame her, could they?).

So she stuffed her face as Alton welcomed them back and it showed Lucifer speaking to all of his sous chefs in what sounded like Arabic, much too fast for any one to follow but it seemed like they were following his orders well enough. He took a moment to stroll over to Bobby’s side of the kitchen and leaned against the counter next to the ginger man. She felt more than she heard Lucifer’s chuckle and she leaned a little closer so that her head was leaning back against his chest. “What’s so funny?” she asked in a whisper.

“Just watch, darling,” he said, laughter lacing his words (and really it felt like he was laughing at her a little bit, and she didn’t know that that was definitely the case, but only because she was the most adorable person on the face of the earth, he could probably wax poetic about how she’d stuffed her face earlier and probably would later about how well she fit against him).

On the television, she watched as Lucifer got Bobby’s attention. “When were done here, my dear Bobby, I was wondering if you’d like me to help you up onto your cutting board…” Lucifer practically purred and everyone around them either gasped or covered their mouths. Chloe gasped too, she knew about the cutting board incident, she hadn’t know that Lucifer had though. Bobby looked up sharply and glared. Lucifer smirked and walked away, before entering his own kitchen he turned around and said, “You’re welcome on my cutting board anytime, Mr. Flay…”

Chloe couldn’t hide her laugh at how Bobby immediately became flustered and insisted that he was absolutely, completely one hundred percent straight and in his grumbling and half shouting, he tipped over a pot on the burner and almost burned himself with the scalding liquid. Meanwhile, Lucifer was back on his side of the kitchen and was smirking at the scene Bobby had caused for himself. Chloe grinned at Lucifer as they announced that there was 15 minutes left. 

“That’s your favorite part?” she asked. 

He looked down at her with a smirk, “Of course it is. He deserved it too! Did you hear him call me ‘just’ a nightclub owner?”

“Yeah, that’s the first thing I texted you about,” she told him as the commercials started again. 

“Was it really?” he was looking at her like she had amazed him again, like she had surprised him by getting mad on his behalf. 

She nodded and inched closer to him. She knew she was already almost in his lap, but he’d left a very important meeting just for her and he was being sweet today, he had brought her food and told her she was important and… well, he was basically letting her use him as a giant cushion and he wasn’t complaining at all. “What did you do with the goat head?” she asked turning her head just a little to get a better lungful of his cologne. “Because the only thing I can think that you used it for is soup.”

She heard and felt his chuckle rumble through him and was surprised when his arm pulled her closer. “There’s a lot of flavor in the brain, you know,” he told her and laughed when she wrinkled her nose. “I used it for soup,” he said into her hair after a short pause between them and she smirked because she’d guessed right.

“You win this right?” Chloe asked after he’d settled back against the couch. “Because you were really smug for a minute there…” 

“Just watch, Detective,” he told her. 

“So you do win…” is all she said and Lucifer tried to hide a smirk from her. She sighed but settled deeper into his side. “Ella might ask you to cook for her soon,” she said after a quiet moment. 

“Why might she do that?” he asked as Alton started counting down the last seconds, because as they were talking they’d missed the ten minute marker. On the screen, Lucifer was calmly putting the finishing touches on each plate as Bobby on the other side of the kitchen was rushing to get everything plated. 

“Well, I called her while I was waiting for you and the fact that you could cook just happened to come up,” she told him with a smirk. 

He hummed as the show broke for commercial. “Just invite her here, I’ll cook for all of you,” he shrugged. 

She turned so that she could face him. “You want to cook Ella dinner here?” she asked. 

“Well, there’s a recipe I want to teach the small human,” Lucifer said, wiping a nonexistent something from one of his knees. 

She raised her brows at him and he promised her that it was something she’d like. “I like everything you cook,” she told him and smiled a tender smile when he looked down at his lap as if he were embarrassed. He looked up at her through his lashes and gave her a fleeting smile. She loved him when he was shy like this, he was usually so confident all the time, which she also loved… but he was more… more him in moments like this. She turned towards the television again and was, once again, leaning on him. 

“You know, darling,” he said (softly and into the hair by her ear because she was so very close but he wanted her closer), “if you were any closer you’d be in my lap.”

Chloe rolled her eyes but she knew that he was just trying to move past the soft moment they’d just had. But she wanted very much to stay in that moment, to have it continue until she’d had her fill (and was it possible for her to ever get her fill of Lucifer Morningstar when he was so close to her? when he was being so very sweet and… she just… she wanted). So she decided to play along, “Maybe that’s where I want to be, Lucifer…”

He swallowed loudly and the arm that was around her tightened. “Chloe,” was all he said, but it was soft and desperate and wanting. 

“Yeah?” she asked, staring at the television, suddenly a little nervous. 

There was a long pause as the show came back on, but in the next moment she was in his lap (sideways so she was still facing the screen and could watch him win like he deserved to). He made a breathless sound when she shifted so that they both would be more comfortable. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pressed her nose into his cheek for a moment before turning to watch the television. Lucifer was onscreen presenting his first dish, which he called “a surprising twist on a classic Irish goat stew.” Chloe was jealous of the judges because it looked so good and when they tried to describe the flavor they couldn’t. She knew how well he could cook, and she knew she didn’t have to watch the rest of the episode to know that he was better than Bobby Flay, hell he was probably better than Chef Morimoto! She sighed, not really paying attention to what her hands were doing and ended up with one of her hands playing with the hair at the back of his neck. As he was showing the judges his third dish (which looked absolutely mouthwatering), her other hand came up to absently fiddle with the buttons of his shirt. 

His hand settled over the one she had on his chest and he lifted it to his lips to place a kiss to it. She met his eyes and glanced down at his lips as she wet hers, and suddenly she was so much more nervous than she had been. She was… she wanted to kiss him. She felt his hand on her back urging her closer and their eyes met again. She leaned in, but she stopped her nose nudging his; she watched his eyes flick from hers to her lips and she pulled back the tiniest bit. He whined in protest and pulled her closer, one of his hand found its way into her hair and he pressed closer, nuzzling her nose with his before breathing out the word, “Please…”

She wet her lips once more and then closed the space between them. His lips were soft and responsive under hers and he groaned softly when she traced her tongue along the seam of his lips. He opened under her and let her take from him what she wanted. She pulled back and he followed, desperate for one more taste of her it seemed, and she let him have it. They kissed softly and slowly and when Chloe pulled back Lucifer was absolutely breathless and he looked… he looked at peace and like he never would be ever again at the same time. 

“You okay?” she whispered to him as she caressed the side of his face, her fingers rasping over his stubble.

“Perfect,” he breathed at her, finally opening his eyes. He leaned forward and kissed her once more, so much softer and gentler than they had been before. He tucked his face into her neck and hummed contentedly as she scraped her nails lightly through the hair at the nape of his neck. He seemed content to stay there, maybe forever, because for the first time since she met him, he was completely still.

Chloe sighed with a smile. She wanted to stay like this too. So she did.

The television played on in the background.

(Lucifer had won by a landslide, of course, Bobby’s roast was overdone just enough to cause concern with the judges, and when the Devil left the kitchen, Bobby was left thinking about how maybe he wasn’t quite as straight as he thought he was…)


End file.
